You know something that can be even more annoying than badfic? Have you ever been reading a story, thinking that's it's pretty good or at least decent, when something - a line of dialog, a phrase, an error - just ruins the piece for you? I was looking around for fic when I came across one with a decently intriguing summary, so I decided to give it ( Read more... )

You know those little phrases or descriptions that you see; you don't mind them (so much) the first time you see them but then suddenly the same phrase is cropping up in fics containing the same pairing.

( cut for mild sex references )

Before I begin, let me put in some general background information ( Read more... )

Yeah, ranting a lot recently. Not so much angry as… I find things to talk about. And then wish to do so. Excessively.

( What happens when authors put the thesaurus down and pick up an encyclopedia of geology instead. Or a spice-rack. Or a picture of the early morning. )

but if it hasn't, I must ask, why the hell not?

( Yes, godlizard. )

So the fic I was reading was, in general, horrifying and kind of creepy and made no sense whatsoever. I'm not going to whine about that, it was my own choice to click the link and heck, it made me giggle.

But.

... Biosexual?

It took me a good two minutes to catch the author meant bisexual, there.

So Roxas loves him some biology, huh?*s-

A little info before you go blathering about Roxas's orbs.
( I'll tell you what it isn't. )

So. Guys. Remember when we said keyblade + sex =/= the fun unless Sora has acquired the Dildo Keychain?

GUESS WHAT.

THE STRUGGLE BATS especially when called "mallets" AREN'T GOOD SEX TOYS EITHER. :Db

And I will repeat it again. IF YOU SAY ROXY ONE MORE TIME. I WILL KILL SOMEONE.

You don't need to get fancy with the name. If you don't want to say "penis" in your fics, say "cock", "dick", or something similar. You don't need to get pretentious and say "7-inch stick of love" or gross and say "bloated man-meat".  (As for vaginas, you're on your own. There aren't a lot of names for it that sound right.)

Also, you don't need to ( Read more... )

People on my Flist have probably seen me post about this fic before, but I post it again because I still swear it is one of the most possibly unintentionally entertaining things I've ever read, and I've yet to see it mentioned elsewhere:

Perfect Green. Vexen/Repliku, although confusing for using 'Riku' as a name for the Replica for a good portion ( Read more... )